It's just like the Real World with babies
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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