He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
