dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
