covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
