Fine. I'll sleep in my office
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
