she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
