Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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