let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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