I must be too annoying 4 u.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
