Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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