I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
