Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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