that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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