how do flat chested girls get laid?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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