He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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