I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
