Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Randomize
