Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
this just has baby written all over it
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize