he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
