I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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