I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
What a dumb baby whore.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize