You smell like a Billy Joel song
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina