K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
