haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
