I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
so let's talk penis.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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