driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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