My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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