it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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