I love watching others lives come down to our level.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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