bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
