I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I hate all girls vehemently.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
