a queef is a wish your heart makes.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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