They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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