We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
