he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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