p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Randomize
