Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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