Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize