its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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