Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
