Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize