do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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