No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
