Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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