Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
