maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
