There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
