and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
it was like eating out sand paper
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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