I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
