Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.