why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
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We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
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gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
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If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?