I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Are my feet made of real feet?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??