Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.