After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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